Being in Community in Difficult Times

“Am I using my anger, or is my anger using me?” I love this question from Layla Saad, author of Me and White Supremacy. During uncertain and difficult times, we must reconsider our ways of being in relationship and community with one another while allowing each other to feel the terror, rage, and injustice of the moment.

If you're dumping unprocessed trauma onto colleagues or strangers online, you may be overwhelming or triggering them without realizing it. Dumping may make you feel good or relieved for a moment, but it is a toxic behavior that shuts down authentic connection and dialogue. It's also likely to drive others farther away from us and our positions.

While I love the community connections I’ve developed on different platforms, social media often doesn’t provide the safety needed to effectively process our pain, as we might with loved ones or a therapist.

What exactly is trauma dumping? It tends to be one-sided:

🗣️ If you feel like you HAVE to share...
🗣️ If you are not considering context… (Is this is the best time and place to share?)
🗣️ If you are not considering the emotional impact of your words on others…

...you may be trauma dumping, not venting.

The path to reimagining our ways of being in relationship with one another isn’t easy, especially now. But learning to recognize when I’m feeling overwhelmed or triggered has been enormously helpful to me.

We all need healthy outlets and coping mechanisms to process our trauma and stresses. What strategies are helping you these days?