Learning to Communicate in the DEI Space

Making real progress on diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging requires deep listening and authentic communication.

 📍Am I listening in a way that conveys curiosity rather than judgment, making others feel seen and heard?

📍Am I making space for others in the conversation or am I talking over others, diminishing other perspectives?

 📍Am I looking for confirmation of my beliefs/biases rather than being open to examining them?

 📍Am I fostering connection or hindering it?

These are questions I ask myself regularly, even after decades of professional experience fostering difficult dialogues. I’m the first to admit I make mistakes, especially if I’m feeling triggered.

I love to explore multiple perspectives, but I’ve learned than not every disagreement is productive. In my personal life (also sometimes professionally), if I feel like I am unable to make a positive contribution to a conversation or a discussion is not leading to greater understanding--either in terms of information or feeling that have been shared--I respectfully decline to continue while affirming my connection to the person.

👉🏽 👉🏽I do this because (1) DEI is emotionally challenging work and I need to conserve my energy and (2) I’ve come to realize that sometimes the most skillful speech is silence.

I almost always have something to say (just ask my spouse!), so silence is difficult for me. But it’s been empowering to remind myself that I can choose growth and healing, including setting boundaries that prioritize my well-being. It’s also felt freeing to let go of academic pressures to sound “smart”—a kind of intellectual showboating that impedes true dialogue.

 For me, being a DEI practitioner isn’t about trying to persuade others to think and act like me, but rather modeling what a compassionate approach to this work looks like every day. And that begins with self-compassion.

🗣If your team or organization communicating in ways that are equitable, respectful, and inclusive? If old patterns or habits are holding you back, let’s talk. I love to helps teams foster a belonging culture through equitable and inclusive communication.