Real Change Begins at the End of Your Comfort Zone
Leaders who want to advance equity and justice can build trust and safety with their teams not by modeling what getting it right looks like but rather the kind of humility, self-reflection, and personal responsibility that is required whenever they get it wrong.
Let’s be honest, even the most committed allies are often scared of making mistakes or offending others. But stepping out of safety and into growth means normalizing messing up.
"Failed allyship" is a contradiction in terms. In fact, any allyship that isn't performative requires failure, because there is no progress without it. Being an impactful leader or change agent doesn't require us to be perfect; it requires us to be accountable.
Here are 6 of my strategies for cultivating a growth mindset and approaching criticism as an opportunity for growth:
1. DECENTER: For me, this is about cultural humility. I always strive to be an active listener, meeting others with empathy and compassion regardless of their identities, beliefs, or perspectives. That's very difficult to do if I'm centering myself.
2. VULNERBILITY: Get comfortable with being vulnerable and not being “the one who knows.” You don't always have to have all the answers. Being less invested in being right will help you negotiate the moments when others tell you that you’re wrong.
3. SHAME: Resist going into a shame spiral. Authentic growth and discovery requires self-compassion, not self-blame.
4. PAUSE: Don’t be reactive. Take the time to sit with your feelings and process so that you can respond with intention and clarity.
5. VALUES: Focus on shared values. Being corrected is actually an opportunity to build community. I've developed wonderful connections that started with discord and criticism.
6. ALIGNMENT: Align with your purpose: Ask yourself, what am I really trying to accomplish? How can I bring my words and actions into alignment? The DEI journey requires this kind of self-awareness in order to have a broader positive impact.
Don’t let fear of making mistakes stand in the way of achieving your DEI goals! Message me to discuss how I can help you to implement inclusive leadership practices that will support the success of your team or organization.
[Image description: Infographic by Sylvia Duckworth depicting various types of plants surrounding the following text: "If you can't be corrected without being offended, you will never grow."]
